What’s the biggest problem most guys have in bed? They cum before the woman. Or perhaps more accurately, the guy cums fast and the woman doesn’t cum at all.
One of my ex-girlfriends once told me that her ex-boyfriend would go down on her, make her cum and then they would have intercourse and he would cum. He masturbated in her vagina. That is fucking lame. Don’t be that guy.
When she met me, she became vaginally-multi-orgasmic. We had simultaneous orgasms all the time, except when we were drunk or hungover. Alcohol messes with “orgasm chemistry” in the brain.
So what’s the secret to lasting 30-45 minutes in bed? RELAXATION.
As you would have discovered from your female orgasm course, relaxation (the woman’s) is also the secret to the female orgasm.
As a guy gets closer and closer to orgasm, his body gets tense: his breathing becomes quicker and shallower and his muscles tense up. What’s the solution? Do the reverse ie relaxation.
Breathing: Take long, deep breaths (the opposite of quick, shallow breaths). This also decreases your heart rate, which is the opposite of the high heart rate during orgasm.
Muscles: Keep your muscles relaxed, especially your buttocks, thighs, lower back and abs. How do you relax muscles? Don’t tense them and don’t thrust.
Mind: Diverge your eyes. Pretend there’s an orange on the top-back of your head. Try and look at it and your eyes will diverge. Alternatively you can look at one corner of the room with one eye and another corner with the other eye. This is a relaxation technique from “Photoreading” (reading 25,000 words per minute) by Paul Scheele. When your eyes are this way, your brain enters the “alpha state”: the state of relaxed alertness.
Sex Positions: Do sex positions where she is doing the thrusting. The ideal one is cowgirl (woman on top). Cowgirl is doubly important because not only does it delay your orgasm, it accelerates hers. When you do “doggy” (rear-entry) or “missionary” (man on top), don’t thrust into her, tell her to thrust into you.
2 other good positions where your thrusting is minimal are “Yab Yum” (aka “Lotus”) and “Lap Dance”. Check out this post for animations:
http://1stop4femaleorgasms.com/blog/214/sex-positions/
When she’s doing the thrusting, do you realise that she’s tensing her buttocks, thighs, lower back and abs? This means she’ll cum faster! When she’s in the Cowgirl position, also squeeze her buttocks, rub her thighs, massage her breasts, suck her nipples and rub her perineum (the area between her anus and vagina – this will contract her orgasm muscles) and stroke her internal clitoris.
You can stay in the “pre-orgasmic zone” for 30-45 minutes and when she cums, you tense your buttocks, thrust your hips, trigger your ejaculation reflex and cum with her: the coveted simultaneous orgasm!
When she’s about to cum, you’ll hear her breathing: she’ll have 4-7 rapid inhales, hold it, and release it while her body trembles orgasmically. That’s when you starting tensing and thrusting so you cum with her.
This sounds so simple that is seems like it couldn’t possibly work. But guess what? You can try it right now and prove it to yourself.
After you prove it to yourself, instantly download SEX IQ and you’ll also discover how to be a multi-orgasmic man and make your woman a multi-orgasmic woman.
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Hey Harry i heard that another alternative for men to control their orgasm is through doing Kegels which blocks the release of the male sperm, However flexing the PC Muscle forces u to tighten ur butt muscles, so i was wondering if the was a direct contradiction?
Hi John
The trick is to contract and hold your PC muscles while keeping your butt relaxed.
Hi Harry, thanks for all the advice, keep it up
You can follow these tips
1. Practicing orgasm control during masturbation, using a stop-start method. 2. Kegel exercises to build control of his pelvic-floor muscles. He contracts the muscles as if stopping pee, holds for a few seconds before releasing, and repeats. 3. Using Durex Performax condoms, which contain body-heat-activated climax-control lubricant on the inside to prolong performance. 4. Giving the head of his penis a short, sharp squeeze to
stop ejaculation when he feels he’s about to come. Help him by. . . Using Topla Cream, a local-anesthetic cream available from pharmacies, for its numbing effect. Mix it with K-Y Jelly or Astroglide and, after first testing this on your inner arm for an allergic reaction, use it as lubricant during sex. Taking responsibility for your own orgasms. You need to know what works for you, whether it’s clitoral stimulation, nipple-sucking, toe-sucking. . . . Try manually stimulating yourself or getting him to use a vibrator on you. Talking to him without assigning blame (such as: ‘It’s your problem because you come so quickly’). Having stop-start sex. Just before he’s about to come you should both stop moving. This allows him to relax and control his ejaculation. Delaying your Orgasm What if you come within seconds when riding him or are trying to synchronize with a lover who takes his time? Try. . . Exploring pleasurable behaviors that don’t make you
reach orgasm quickly. Perhaps he needs to devote more time to kissing you or giving you oral sex. Having two or three ’rounds’ of sex instead of expecting one simultaneous orgasm. If you become sensitive after your first orgasm, take a break and stimulate his penis with your hands or try oral sex.